The Subtle Mind Sleeps

I am coming along with this meditation stuff.  I might even go as far as to admit that I'm starting to enjoy it! Who knew that this wildly active girl could be so still.  I truly enjoyed the Loving-Kindness exercise and found myself capable of relaxing for at least a few minutes.  However, the subtle mind exercise sent me right into a peaceful sleep.  Some may see this as a fail, but not me.  I may have fallen asleep for a good twenty minutes after the exercise, but it was an amazing sleep.  I woke up feeling a great sense of calmness as well as completely energized.  I tried this exercise 4 times, and 3 of the 4 times I had this same experience.  The other time was completely unenjoyable and I just couldn't  stay focused on my breathing.  I'm finding that between prayers, exercise, and relaxation, my coping skills are incredibly enhanced.  Maybe I'm just having a good week, who knows.  However, I do know that I have never been so busy, yet so unstressed as I was this week!  Hope everyone else had a wonderful week as well!

Loving Kindness

I feel I have waited until the last moment to type this weeks blog, but I wanted to try this weeks relaxation exercise as often as possible to really give it a go.  It's no secret that I've been struggling with these exercises, however, I really enjoyed this one, well, maybe not really, but more so than the others.  It's definitely easier for me to imagine sending love and kindness and good thoughts out to others than it is to imagine lights shining through my body.  I also believe this exercise worked better for me because she didn't seem as "yappy" as the guy from previous exercises.  I enjoyed the longer silence and the sound of the waves.  When I'm doing my own breathing techniques (with no noise except for my fan), I often imagine myself laying in a field of flowers with a brook running along the side, so maybe that's why this was easier for me.  It worked even better the last few times when I just tuned out any speaking she was doing.  So, yea!  I don't consider this a fail.  Although, I truly can't lay still.  I noticed that even when my mind is feeling completely relaxed, my body is moving.  Rather I'm readjusting my legs or arms, or rolling over on my side, I'm constantly moving.  It just seems there is no one position that works for me.  My husband assured me it's no different when I'm sleeping, so maybe it's not a big deal, and I just need to embrace that I'm a mover and shaker.

Despite my numerous failed attempts at meditation, I do feel these "mental workouts" are becoming easier.  I've said in the past, I like meditating while running.  I have found that this week, I was able to think of this exercise once I got to my happy place during my run, and send these good thoughts out to loved ones as well as the strangers that I passed by on the road.  It was a great feeling, and the weird thing is that it actually knocked off a few seconds on my time.  Maybe that extra happiness led me to quicker feet, who knows.

Have a wonderful week everyone, and I hope you can feel my loving, kind, and happy thoughts that I'm sending to you all!

My Balance is Slipping Away!

Today's blog answers the following questions.  However, I think it's only fair to say that it's been a challenging week, and possibly the end of next week, would have different results.  Heck, the end of the day might bring different results.  But, here goes!  It's all about reflection, right?

1. Based on your reflections, and on a scale of 1 to 10 (ten being optimal wellbeing), where do you rate your A-physical wellbeing, B-spiritual well-being, C-psychological well-being? Why?

 On a scale of 1-10, I would rate my physical wellbeing as an 8 or 9.  I believe there is always room for improvement, however I'm free of disease, I feel great, and I really have no physical complaints whatsoever.  I also feel my spiritual well-being is around the 7 or 8's.  I'm on a new journey of becoming closer to God and realizing just how blessed I am that I'm his child.  I still struggle from time to time believing that I am deserving (which is a bad word, because who really is?) of his love.  However, he shows me everyday, that despite my imperfections, he does love me, and all I have to do is believe. Lucky me!

 

So, now psychological well-being...ugh! It was up there with everything else for awhile, but this is the one area that I struggle with the most.  Stress management has never been one of my strong points, and while it has improved over the past few years, lately it has been challenged.  And not to point fingers or anything, but this class is killing me!   I'm sure if I can master this whole meditating thing, it will be a huge step in the right direction, but constant failure is not good for the human soul.  I'm struggling with feeling like I will never reach optimal well-being because I prefer active meditation as opposed to still meditation.

 

2. Develop a goal for yourself in each area (physical, spiritual, psychological).

 

My physical goals are to just keep doing what I'm doing.  I enjoy exercise, running and competing in different things.  My next competition is a Tough Mudder here in San Diego, and I love having something to look forward too.  My goals for my spiritual well-being is to grow closer and closer to God and to learn to listen to him and make sure I'm doing what he wants me to be doing instead of wandering aimlessly doing what I think should be done.  Psychological goals are to just get to a place where little things, like sitting still and meditating, don't send me down the slippery slope back to the bottom of the hill I was previously happily climbing.

 

3. What activities or exercise can you implement in your life to assist in moving toward each goal?

 

An activity that I would like to implement into my physical life would be TRX training.  It's a great way to build core strength and balance, my two weaknesses.

Spiritually, I just added a new activity, which is my journey to reading the bible in a year.  I've done this in the past, but this time I'm looking forward to really put thought into what I'm reading, and study it.  Psychological activity that I'm trying (and still failing) is meditating.  I really hate sitting still (just sayin').

 

4. Complete the relaxation exercise The Crime of the Century. To hear this exercise, click here. Describe your experience. (What it beneficial? Frustrating? etc.)

 

Ugh!  Frustration is an understatement!  I did it right this time.  House was empty, I had already gone running, so I was pretty relaxed and in a great state of mind.  It was perfect.  Then I laid down and pushed play.  It started out okay, I was feeling relaxed, and then I was starting to giggle a little at the idea of my anus being a window with a red light beam shining through it (which I'm sure is not the image the guy was going for, but he did say to let the thoughts just come).  After a quick reminder to myself to focus, I started breathing again like he said, and all was fine for about 30 seconds, before I started thinking: "Does this guy ever shut up?  Doesn't he know I still have to blog about this? Does he really think that making me imagine myself as a disco ball is relaxing? Ooh, now dancing in my living room naked because I finally got the house to myself could be fun!"  And it went down hill from there.  Fail!  But don't think I didn't follow through with the dancing in the living room to relift my spirits!